my name is aDRIaN...
. . . and I have been a part of Chicago Voyagers for a year and a half. I connected to Chicago Voyagers through Brighton Park Neighborhood Council.
Life hasn’t always been easy for me. During my first year of high school, I became depressed and so I didn't do any work or even go to school. I would go to school, but not go into classes or do my work. My school kicked me out, which left me sad and not understanding what was going to happen to me next.
Also, I was depressed because both my older brothers got arrested and put away. It made me sad because my brothers and I are really close. They would listen to me and gave me advice since they understood what I was going through. I lost their support. I started using marijuana. I was scared at first, but I loved the feeling and it made me forget all the problems I had, at least for a couple of hours. But, the problems always came back after the drugs wore off.
As I was starting with Chicago Voyagers, I had issues at home. I was worried about where I was going to live. We didn’t have money to pay the rent or the bills. So, we were facing eviction. The worry about this was really heavy.
[In my time with Chicago Voyagers I have been] trying many new things and meeting new people. I never went canoeing and I got to do that. Also, rock climbing and scuba were new to me. My friends and I learned how to work together as a team, and to motivate each other instead of putting each other down.
My favorite so far is when we went to the boundary waters. We went canoeing and camping in the wilderness. Two days before we left, I lost my friend in a homicide. I was only two blocks away from where the shooting happened. I didn’t hear the sirens, but I had this feeling that something was wrong and I couldn’t eat my lunch. When I got home, I saw my brother and his girlfriend crying. I asked what was wrong and they told me that Dylan died. At first, I just couldn’t believe the Dylan died. Then, I just started crying. I thought about his sister and her loss.
So, I came into the trip in a tough spot. My brothers were in jail, I was facing homelessness, and I just lost a friend. The first few days, I just could not stop thinking about these things. What helped me most was during a group session, I was able to talk about everything that was going in my life with my friends. They listened to me, they cared, and even shared tears with me.
During the trip, we learned new ways to cope with things that help us with our feelings. Thanks to Chicago Voyagers, I grew in my teamwork and leadership abilities. I learned it is better to work with people than to do things alone. It is ok to ask for help. I learned that having others there to share my struggles with can help me heal. Chicago Voyagers helped me become a better person. Better for myself and for others. They helped me learn to not give up when things get hard and keep on trying. I am really glad that my caseworker introduced me to Chicago Voyagers. Without Chicago Voyagers, I would be in a tough situation – using drugs, doing poorly in school and probably getting in trouble that would put me in the same situation as my brothers.
my name is alexandra...
. . . and I have been a part of Chicago Voyagers for a year and a half. I am a senior at Addison Trail.
Growing up when I first started gaining memory, my mom was a single mother unemployed living under section 8; it was four of us in total. I had two older brothers and one older sister, me being the baby of the family. All my life I spent living in bedbug and cockroach infested apartments. My older brothers were my father figures. Although they weren't the best influences, I looked up to them, especially my oldest brother Miguel. Coming from a gang infested area, he changed his life around when he had his son. Being the baby girl of the family, I had pretty special treatment aside from all the living circumstances, until otherwise.
All the kids from my housing complex came from an apartment with either a heroin and crack addict guardian/parent, neglectful parents who left their kids for days at a strangers’ house in the complex, and/or kids who were victims of sexual, physical and very horribly verbally abused. We all took candy from strangers and took toys and clothes straight out of the dumpster. We all had cicadas as pets. We all felt comfortable with each other because we knew we all struggled and none of us felt inadequate with each other. So we played and played all day every day. Eventually that changed for me when my dad came back in the picture and I broke my arm playing hide and go seek outside one day. They decided it wasn't in the best interest to let me go outside as much anymore.
When my dad returned, my mother’s abusive side came out of her, towards me now because I was no longer the baby of the family when my new born brother was born. Abuse was my newfound special treatment. I have moved residency countless times, I looked up to my oldest brother Miguel who was going to college now getting his life together, meanwhile my second older brother was still involved with gang activity until an incident occurred: On September 24, 2012 my brother, that I looked up to for changing his life, had been in a dilemma that had him convicted him of first degree murder - all to protect my other brother. It was in that moment that my family went from being whole to all getting separated. My mom was imprisoned for almost a year.
During that time I went from house to house, separated from all my siblings. Once my mom came back, some things changed for the better, and some for the worse. Emotionally, I was not doing well. I started self-harming and considered suicide which led me to be hospitalized several times. At home, our section 8 housing was taken away and the nine of us had to live in a one bedroom apartment infested with bedbugs. That being the circumstances, I did not want to be home which led to being out in the streets and becoming more familiar with drugs. I was 13 years old and I felt like I needed to escape my reality by resorting to drugs. Once I decided that I should be doing better something knocked me down. One night I woke up to find myself being sexual assaulted by someone who I trusted and looked up to. Until this day I still struggle with that and with trust.
Fast forward to now, my brother is currently still in prison, my dad who was financially supporting us is currently awaiting deportation trial, and I am currently not living at home. Aside from all the circumstances I am extremely grateful for the opportunity to participate in Chicago Voyagers. Firstly, being in the program reminds me of when I lived in that section 8 complex. Every one of us has our own struggles and trust issues that we do not share with each other. I feel that the field trips help us bond and help us feel that we are adequate. When I am on the field trips, I get the feel and see that there is more to the world than coming from a dysfunctional home. I know that everyone in Chicago Voyagers feels this way.
Voyagers has helped me build trust little by little one step at a time. I feel that there is more to the world and having the ability to see different things such as, Starved Rock has been such a blessing to me. It has pushed me out of my comfort zone and has shown me how physically and emotionally strong I really am. One of the overnight trips is one that I will never forget. The trip with Bess (the program manager) and all the activities taught me to I can do this and never give up. It taught me that I have more support than I thought I did. I also love to see that it helps everyone else in the program. Most importantly it has been helping me cope with my past and has helped me heal. It sincerely makes me want to be something in life. Thank you!!!
